The less said about yesterday, the better.
Total collapse in consciousness.
I think, perhaps, a highly stressful few months (or years) took their toll and it all just got a bit too much. It was a day of meltdown.
But in everything there lurks a lesson.
And I found several in yesterday’s trials. First, I’m human. I fall. I get up. I try again. Trying to follow this path doesn’t make you superhuman. Doesn’t mean you are perfect. Far from it. It is the acceptance of your imperfection that makes it possible at all. If you can forgive other people, you have to be able to forgive yourself, too, eh?
Secondly, the meditation has had profound effects. Even in the pits of it all, I knew it was what I wanted to do. I knew it was a surefire way out of the depths; a means to re-balancing, to finding equilibrium once more. My day no longer feels quite right if I haven’t done it.
And finally, for now, the very happy conclusion I have reached that if you keep on this road, even your meltdowns are less dramatic, far-reaching and enduring than they once might have been.
That’s got to be a good thing, eh?
Tomorrow, when yesterday is still further behind me, I might just tell you about knitting meditation