It isn’t money.
Sure, money can ruin a person, just as it can improve their lives – and the lives of those they love – immeasurably. I don’t believe it is the root of all evil.
What I believe is the root of all evil is Victim Consciousness.
I have mentioned this before, having first been switched onto this idea by David Hawkins, and then had it further explained by Lynne Forrest, whose book you will find in my recommended reading (she explains it very well). But until quite recently I hadn’t appreciated just how fundamental Victim Consciousness is in the day-to-day happiness of our lives and interpersonal relationships.
Before I go any further, I want to explain one thing, since it was an enormous stumbling block for me when I first grappled with this subject. There is a chasm of difference between victim and Victim. What I am talking about here is Victim – with a capital V. The Victim that defines us, labels us, becomes our story. There is no denying that most of us fall victim (with a small v) to one event / person / life circumstance or another from time to time, and sometimes many times in the course of our lives and that can create enormous difficulty for us. Usually emotional difficulty, often material or financial difficulty, sometimes psychological difficulty. And if we are fortunate, we have a support network of family or friends there to bolster us, to help us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start again (as the song goes), a little wiser for the experience.
But if we are more fortunate, or diligent, or even rigorous in our thinking and our consciousness, we do not allow ourselves to indulge or fall into the trap of Victim Consciousness. And boy! It takes effort sometimes. It is so easy to say “Poor me!”, to start recounting your story in your head, the one you plan to tell someone at the school gates, or call a friend to retell, or save up for the next person you meet… Sound familiar? How often has something irritating, upsetting or hurtful happened to you and you find yourself almost rehearsing the way you’re going to relate it when you get home / to your friend’s house / on the phone?
For the juice. For the attention, sympathy… the payback. The “Poor you”s…
What has become increasingly obvious to me is how ultimately damaging it is. All our endless retelling of our story (our Victim Consciousness) does, its only real function, is to keep us locked in the cycle of past, hurt and damage. From there we cannot progress at all.
“Progress”? Yes. Progress. Be happy. Move on. Because to be a Victim, we allow something or someone to have power over our lives, over our own happiness. Why in the name of all that is good would we want to do that?? Allowing ourselves to be a victim, we give away our power, we disallow the possibility of living our lives to the fullest extent we can imagine. Following our hearts. Creating our dreams. Creating our realities.
Because that, with your thoughts and your beliefs, is precisely what you do. The story you tell yourself is the reality you create. It is truly that simple. If you tell yourself you are unhappy, you are unhappy. If you tell yourself you are happy… well… you get it! If you look at things from the perspective of negativity, hardship, difficulty, then life is negative, stark, difficult. But if you look at it from the opposing perspective, the sun shines even when it’s raining.
We have so many platitudes that we repeat endlessly without ever having given them much thought at all.
“Count your blessings!” we are told as children. The problem is, we are usually told this when we are steeped in a vat of Victim Consciousness, feeling sorry for ourselves that she got the doll we really wanted for Christmas, and we just got this lousy book; or he gets to stay up late and watch television and we just have to go to bed and listen to the joy downstairs… oh… you know the score! And our elders and betters say to us “Count your blessings!”. Do we then skip up to bed and make a mental list of all the fabulous things we do have in our lives? All the great things we can do? Pah! We scowl and sink further into our pit of self-pity.
See? So the “Count your blessings!” mantra has been transformed into a reprimand to counter our complaints of unfairness.
But the problem is, it’s true.
If you look at any problem in your life, there is always a ‘Way of Acceptance’. Always. Without exception. I am not suggesting for a minute that it is easy to get there. Sometimes it seems an impossible task. But nothing is impossible. (Something else we are told and allow to enter one ear and exit swiftly through the other). But it isn’t.
Nothing is impossible.
You create your reality, regardless of the material circumstances of your life. Each thought, each belief, everything you allow yourself to believe, you have made a choice to believe. And if it isn’t beneficial to your overall well-being, you can make a choice to change it.
Angry? Make a choice to let it go.
Hurt? Make a choice to let it go.
Disappointed? Make a choice to let it go.
Hard done-by? Make a choice to let it go.
If you can accept that you create your reality, why on earth (or anywhere else) would you want to create one that made or kept you miserable?
Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.